Probably just a short-ish one this time as the great Moving Chronicles of Pain have kicked into high gear — I was driving a 16-foot diesel-only van this weekend and it had one of those bus-style steering wheels where it feels like you’re driving a mixing bowl and there was so much play in the handling that it’s a miracle that I didn’t Roller Derby anyone over the guard rail and into oblivion.
It had — wait for it — a cassette deck, and it was one of those beasts where you have to jump down from the driver’s side every time you got out and it was 11 feet 6 inches tall, which definitely makes you take notice of trees and, say, gas station overhangs.
I didn’t even fill that bastard. I had to get that size truck primarily because a slim, tall “apartment style” refrigerator I bought during the pandemic — victim of the supply chain, etc, which means I will never part with it — stands 6 feet 7 inches tall and can’t be laid down, as you probably know.
Oh, there was other heavy shit in there: Ping-pong table, BBQ grill, couch, random amounts of furniture from my Furniture Museum etc., all headed down to the Monterey Peninsula to my brother’s place that may or may not become an AirBnb thing eventually.
So, yeah, between moving and having my insides ripped to the outside by watching the 49ers (and worse, the Warriors), I’ve just been trying to stay current on the shows I’m watching while living on a heating pad.
I watched the third episode of “True Detective: Night Country” and…I had issues.
The storytelling style is becoming problematic for me because “Night Country” is falling into the worst of habits — having characters not talk about important things they’ve witnessed, when in real life this would be THE MAIN THING EVERYONE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT.
For example: Trooper Evangeline Navarro (Kari Reis) takes an orange (was that an orange, symbol of death — yes, it was — in Alaska?) and walks out into the tundra. She sees someone running into the dark distance and follows (not sure this is the smartest move, but she’s a cop so let’s just say she’s pretty fearless). She walks a good distance into the ether and, seeing nothing, throws the orange into the dark abyss. Moments later it’s tossed back to her and rolls to her feet.
Trooper Navarro basically shrugs and walks back to her truck.
In real life two things most likely happen — she pulls a gun and freaks out and starts shooting (OK, unlikely, but you and I would totally do that until the clip was empty, fear coursing through our bodies). Or, more likely, Navarro turns around and runs like hell.
Even if you think she doesn’t do those very human things, one thing she definitely does is tell someone about it.
But, nope.
Later, Navarro is at the hospital when the Unfrozen Dead Man From Hell sits up like he was in a horror movie, and does two things: CALLS HER BY HER FIRST NAME, even though he doesn’t know her. Then tells her that HER MOM SAYS HI AND IS WAITING FOR HER.
That’s some “Exorcist” shit right there.
Her reaction? A little spooked but not very noticeably. Then? Quiet.
Kind of like:
“How was your day, Evangeline?”
“Pretty normal. No big deal.”
“Well, I guess that’s something.”
“Yeah. I mean, I threw an orange into the black pit of darkness where people have been killed recently.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I was chasing some ghost like dude.”
“Wait, what? Really?”
“Yeah.”
“So what happened?”
“Nothing. He or it or whatever threw the orange back at my feet and I went back to work.”
“Fuck! That’s so weird and scary!”
“Is it?”
“Hell yes! Are you crazy? That’s not normal.”
“Well, you should have seen the zombie talking to me at the hospital.”
The other problem I’m having, a mere three episodes into “True Detective: Night Country,” is that the pacing is driving me insane — and it’s related to characters not telling other characters important things.
Every time someone should speak up or a conversation should continue, writer-directer Issa López instead chooses to break everything up and distractedly send main characters — particularly Jodie Foster’s Chief Liz Danvers character — in some frantic race elsewhere.
“Chief, we need you.”
“Danvers, come in. You gotta see this.”
“Hey, I know you’re busy on some grisly murders and the whole “corpsicle” thing, but your stepdaughter is in some minor trouble. Hurry there.”
“Hey, chief, you won’t believe this. Come to the ice rink.”
“Chief, I’m at the local store. Can you swing on by so we can talk by the cereal instead of you finishing your thoughts?”
“Let’s drive out into the night. We just gotta move.”
“I’m going out walking to find someone in a hut out by the shore.”
“Time to get laid. You want to or not?”
What this constant jerking around of characters does is put them in frantic motion for not real reason other than to create motion, which is at this point a stand-in for drama.
I understand parsing out information. But this isn’t a movie so you can’t be that elliptical three hours into it. What are they mining at the mine? So that it’s ruining everyone’s water — except the main character’s water.
Why is the tattoo on the forehead of one of the scientists not the exact replica of the circular tattoo that others are sporting? Why does Fiona Shaw say that symbol is older than the ice — but not elaborate; clearly she knows something? Also, why so little of Fiona Shaw?
It’s making me a little weary. But I’m Still Watching.
Some quick thoughts:
I don’t have any interest in watching the remake of “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” despite the cast. Sorry. But this might change.
Same goes for “Road House.” Not sorry though. Not changing my mind.
Don’t forget to watch the movie “Return To Seoul” on Amazon. I wrote about it last week. And yes, still thinking about it. Powerful.
Very much into “A Shop For Killers” on Hulu. In case you missed my Two Episode Test on it:
Let me close on some more Moving Chronicles Of the Perpetually In Motion: For those who — eagerly, exploding with interest, of course — followed last year’s Portland move, I can confirm that this first batch of Lugg movers were ALSO not super happy about the ridiculous amount of steps that run from the top, way up, to the bottom, way down, next to the house I’m renting.
“You don’t need a gym,” one said.
Me: “Every day is ‘leg day’ here.”
The other guy: “That’s…a lot of stairs. Uh, can we see the refrigerator?”
Me: “Sure. But at least you’re going down.”
The guy: “Yeah. How many stairs do you think?”
Me: “Forty. Which is about 100 less than coming down from the top.”
Him: “Still gotta come back up.”
He’s right about that. Me, thinking it but not saying it:
Only about five more moves left in about a month’s time:
The Moving Chronicles, man. That's just incredibly stressful and frustrating. I may have to move in five months and I spend half my waking moments absolutely dreading it. You're a trooper. With a slick slim fridge.
The NFC Championship game was on my late grandmother's birthday. My dad was somewhat cheered at halftime because they'd gone to the 1957 game vs. Detroit at Kezar and it was the same score in reverse. So, if the Lions could do it in 1957, the Niners could do it today. When we won, we speculated that Grandma Helen (an SF native) just couldn't bear to see the Lions win again, so.... Thanks, Gma. Happy Birthday.
May we all survive the Super Bowl.
Ugh on the move!! Hope you get through the whole process okay.
I am still in for True Detective: Night Country. I view the "strange things nobody talks about" part of the make up of the town. When the vendor guy tried to speak up about "seeing someone" at the lab, he was cut off and sort of said, you know this town. You see people who aren't there, etc. People are almost shamed for describing the strange things they see. In particular, there is no way in hell Navarro is going to tell anyone!!! Why? Because her mother was mentally ill, and now her sister is too. If she tells everyone, hey I threw this orange and it came back. Hey a basically dead guy started talking to me about my mother. Everyone will think she is crazy and she will be viewed with suspicion or possibly lose her job. And definitely, Jodie Foster's character would not tolerate it. So that didn't bother me, and felt in character. The other issue you had, is TBD on how I feel about it.
I enjoyed the episode. Someone pointed out a great scene which as a book reader, I have to agree., was terrific Film can do things a book can't. When Jodie Foster talks about the Wheeler case. What she SAYS and what you SEE being very different. So an unreliable narrator for which you see how unreliable she is in real time. Really liked that.