"Dick Cheney," "Dead Serious Rick."

Wherein we are "halfway to the fucking Kort nozzle," people, as we grapple with the existential pain and humor deeply embedded in "Patriot" S1. Don't make me hit you with a gumball machine. Let's go.

First, I just wanted to share something with you: “Stephen says really bad stuff about you guys all the time.”

If you’re thinking, wow, it’s the final two episodes of S1 and Tim decides he’s going to go into the deep cuts — Kort nozzles and sharing time, whatever the fuck that is — instead of just coming out with the thing we’re all going to be saying ou…