The Best Christmas Movies Ever. A List.

Hell yes we're doing this. There's even a poll. And an opportunity for you to dissent and tout your own picks. My list contains two where Santa is just kind of a dick. (And no it's not Bad Santa.)

There are a lot — frankly, too many — Christmas movies in the world and, separately, movies with the Christmas season as a back drop, but thankfully there aren’t as many movies as there are songs, which I already dutifully whittled down for your seasonal listening pleasure:

Resounding: The Only Christmas/Holiday Playlists You'll Ever Need.

But make no mistake, as passionate as I am for all kinds of classic and original Christmas songs, my tolerance for Christmas/Holiday movies is a lot shorter, so this list will in turn be shorter. I’m sure it will also be more hotly debated. And I have no doubt your list is probably different than mine. Feel free to drop your Top 5 or Top 10 list in the comments, especially because other people may want some suggestions (if watching Christmas/Holiday moves is their jam). I’m just a lot more confident that my list is going to kick your list’s ass.

Before we get to that, a little house keeping note here, since it’s getting late in December: Are you one of the thousands of free subscribers to The Bastard Machine Substack? That’s cool. I thank you. But hey, if you’ve been thinking about upgrading to paid — a much smaller group at this point in the process, he says, eyeing his bank account — there’s a once-a-year sale on now: $50 for a year. Need a stocking stuffer? It also makes a great gift for friends (or enemies, I don’t know). I totally understand that many people just can’t do it right now, which is why a lot of posts are free. And those will continue here on the site but they will be a lesser percentage in the New Year. So, here’s the deal if you or someone on your holiday list could use it:

I wonder if, looking at the headline to this post, your brain subconsciously thought of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” or “Home Alone” or “Love, Actually” instead of that animated classic. Or maybe “Die Hard” was the first title that popped up — or “It’s A Wonderful Life.”

I’m curious about what our likes and dislikes say about us and our approach to the holiday itself.

Anyway, mittens off! Let’s throw down on this shit right now.